thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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