you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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