so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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