Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
