Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
