CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
