I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
