I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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