when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize