is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
