i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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