the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They took my balls.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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