A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you win again, gameday.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
