So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
