so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
