I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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