why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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