Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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