I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
