You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize