I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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