what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
