This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I love you.
Bad choice
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
