this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
