At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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