Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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