yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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