Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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