dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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