My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
