My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
