No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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