So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
