Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
