You smell like stripper and shame
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
