I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
