just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
