As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
