nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
