i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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