I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
