I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
