who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize