If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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