Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
