due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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