At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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