If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well I just put wine in my tea
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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