the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You ruined the universe
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
