I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
