Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
